never knowing were i’m going round in circle again


never knowing were i’ going round in circle again 

never knowing which way to turn so I turn back on myself  knowing that all can be accoplioshed or so they say but you know what tonight I write in the niight knowing and feeling pain and loss but trying to get up again and a again but the mind sharp memories were in my hesad that would bore even the best of us but her I am typing not knowing why anymore the point of anything life seems to have lost its colour and feel straingly colder harder and I really really off kilter of late new meds and I am feeling very pointless I as am sat here am telling myself not to wholow and there are people much worse of than me but I just feel so drained confused and somwhat aware that to most im probably having a moan but this morning I am feeling the pang that I some times do being single for so long now that some times when I get like this it would be nice to find somone one day altho ging on previouso I tend to be the to much of a good frind Is the one line I have heard more thasn mist. Im scared of never getting anyware further than here in life I hinestly dont know what to do with mysekf 



  1. chrisjpacker1 · May 11, 2015

    Life can deal us hard blows and lessons that are difficult to cope with. If you over mourn you past and dwell there you will surely perish and never move on. The past should not be mourned but instead learn from so you can move into the future armed to do things better. Not easy but true. ask yourself questions, what friends are actually good for me or bad, how have I done things right or wrong to effect my life, what things would I like to be involved in and what things do I think I would prefer to stop being. How can I be most comfortable as myself and with myself because a partner is nice but not a necessity. And when I meet a partner can I present myself as a more confident me.


  2. alienorajt · May 11, 2015

    Oh dear, poor you, Paul; I do sympathise: I have been feeling very similar recently. Horrible. I think we, as a species, spend far too much time feeling we have to be positive for others, and feeling that genuine emotional distress is, in some way, wallowing. It isn’t. The dark has to be experienced too. Life cannot all be light and happiness. Hugs. Ali xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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